01 April 2025 marks the fourth anniversary of wishing Neha a happy birthday after she passed away. On this day, I remember gifting her a spa coupon that she never used because we planned to go together, but the pandemic made it impossible. My trip to Kerala was meant to be a getaway, but the stay got extended due to COVID restrictions. Neha’s health deteriorated from May’2021 and she never recovered. Reflecting on this time, I regret not being able to say a final goodbye, give her a last hug, or hold her hand. Despite the pain, the lessons learned from her journey are invaluable:
You are Replaceable
In the grand tapestry of existence, every being is replaceable. We often believe the world would cease to function without certain people or things, especially when faced with mortality. Yet, time reveals a truth: life moves on.
From my perspective today, this realization is clear. It’s a hard-hitting truth that lifts a burden off my shoulders. The weight of “What ifs” dissipates, leaving me feeling lighter and more at peace. Everyone eventually learns to navigate time and survive in this ever-changing world and that’s how the world moves on.
Death is inevitable
Death is inevitable and brings a sense of loss and emotional turmoil. While I can’t control its certainty, I can prepare materially and rely on my daily prayer: “Lord, give me only that which I can bear, be it joy or sorrows.” My dialogue with God that provides strength and peace, helping me navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience.
My tribe
I’ve become deeply intentional about choosing who I keep closest to me—my tribe. With those outside this circle, I strive to maintain peaceful boundaries, free of judgment. While I’m still learning to master this, I’ve made significant progress, thanks to the profound life lessons I’ve gleaned from Neha’s journey.
No longer do I harbor complaints or expectations about why some people are in my tribe or why I’m not in someone else’s. This awareness of the people who truly matter and the precious time we have left together makes my decisions both peaceful and progressive. It brings a sense of calm and clarity, reducing hard feelings and unnecessary words. Instead, my interactions are filled with pure, intentional efforts.
Someone wisely said, “Treasure your relationships, not your possessions”. This journey has taught me that the essence of meaningful relationships lies in the conscious choice to nurture them, and in the graceful acceptance that not everyone will be part of my inner circle.
I don’t intend to forget anything—the time spent with her, the people who came into my life because of her, her birthday, or the day she left to be somewhere else. Each moment and lesson from that journey is etched in my heart. However, if ever a day comes when the memories start to fade, this post is here to keep the essence alive as long as I am here.
As her whatsapp status said “Go with the flow.” Its a reminder to all her loved ones to embrace life’s natural rhythms and be adaptable to its changes, trusting the process and finding peace in the present moment.
Happy Birthday, my dear friend. May you stay at peace wherever you are.
Until we meet again!
Love,
Swapna
Anecdotes of the ordinary 
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